2014 Bedroom Demos

by Outside at Night

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1.
03:51
2.
02:53
3.
4.
02:43
5.
02:41
6.

about

Recorded on my laptop in my bedroom and in my car.

credits

released July 14, 2014

Everything is done by me, except I own neither a bass guitar nor a drum set so I used MIDI for them in these recordings.

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all rights reserved

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Outside at Night Houston, Texas

We write emotional, introspective music.

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Track Name: Sleep It Off
Most days I wake up angry,
I don't know why, I swear I don't want to be.
Oh, but I'm controlled by it.
Breathe in, breathe out.
I swear I'm so sick of it.

Everything's been given to me,
Yet I find ways to be unhappy.
So I'll sing about my sadness in a major key.
I'll sing about the grief that shouldn't belong to me.

And when I'm done being angry,
I just feel sapped of all my energy.
Lethargic and depressed, I get into my bed
To sleep off the thoughts in my head.

Everything's been given to me,
Yet I find ways to be unhappy.
So I'll sing about my sadness in a major key.
I'll sing about the grief that shouldn't belong to me.
Track Name: There?
I've always had my doubts,
But never until now
Have those thoughts pervaded,
Leading me to say

"Is this apostasy?
I guess it is.
If you were looking,
You would have found me."

Believing is not something
This machine is doing.
It's only questioning,
Skeptical of everything.
Praying and searching,
But never receiving
An answer when I ask
If you're really there.

Is this apostasy?
I guess it is.
If you were looking,
You would have found me.

Oh, how absurd to think
That there are any strings
Being pulled for me
Just because I asked "God, please…"
Track Name: Kind of Really Nostalgic Sometimes All the Time
I fucking hate that I get older.

Where did the time go,
From being a kid to twenty-two?
All this remembering
Has me longing for youth.
Track Name: Petulant
Discontentment and resentment
Have taken permanent residence
In my psyche.
I've been trying
To ride myself of them,
But somehow they always win.

All my angst preceded my
Teenage years and chose to stay here,
Outlasting my adolescence,
Breeding cynical malevolence.
Track Name: Waking Up
Waking up, can’t breathe.
Stayed up too late and smoked too many.
Or is it just anxiety,
Contemplating what others think of me?

Constantly comparing me to
Everyone else around,
Around me.

Lying down, what a joke.
First thing I do is get up and smoke.
Wondering “Where did my pride go?”
Oh yeah, I lost that long ago.
And I’m tired of forever feeling
Consumed by apathy
About almost everything,
Except that which concerns me.

Constantly comparing me to
Everyone else around,
Around me.

I never said I want to die,
I just said I hate that I’m
Anxious about going to sleep
And waking up to more anxiety.
I never said I want to die,
I just said I hate that I
Feel like there’s no place left to run,
So I’ll go dread sleep and waking up.
Track Name: When Trying to Swallow Guilt
My lyrics are too personal,
My melodies predictable.
I'm not good enough at this
To justify doing it forever.
'Cause I still live at home
While all my peers are on their own,
Making names for themselves,
Growing up and getting it together.

I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.
I know you had hopes and plans for me.
I know I threw them all away.
I know I've brought you so much shame.