Out the Window

by Outside at Night

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about

WATCH THE VIDEO FOR "On Existence Pt. I: There?" HERE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5tN_aLHCxo

CDs, CASSETTES, AND VINYL COMING SOON

credits

released December 21, 2018

Produced by Kieran Krebs at Overcast Recordings in Austin, Texas
www.overcastrecordings.com

Album artwork by Libby Frame
www.libbyframe.com

Outside at Night is
Joel McAda - vocals, keyboard
Raul Galvan - drums
Cody McIntosh - guitar
Eric Boyce - bass
Edwin Aguirre - guitar

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all rights reserved

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Outside at Night Houston, Texas

Five friends making meaningful noise.

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Track Name: Sleep It Off
Most days I wake up angry
Don't know why
Swear I don't want to be
Oh, but I'm controlled by it
Breathe in, breathe out
Swear I'm so sick of it

Everything's been given to me
Yet I find ways to be unhappy
So I'll sing about my sadness in a major key
I'll sing about the grief that shouldn't belong to me

And when I'm done being angry
I just feel sapped of all my energy
Lethargic, depressed, I get into my bed
Sleep off the thoughts in my head

Yeah, everything's been given to me
Yet I find ways to be unhappy
So I'll sing about my sadness in a major key
I'll sing about the grief that shouldn't belong to me

Underneath undue grief
No relief, so I'll sleep

Everything's been given to me
Yet I find ways to be unhappy
So I'll sing about my sadness in a major key
I'll sing about the grief that shouldn't belong to me

Yeah, everything's been given to me
Yet I find ways to be unhappy
So I'll sing about my sadness in a major key
I'll sing about the grief that shouldn't belong to me
Track Name: Waking Up
Waking up, can't breathe
Stayed up too late and smoked too many
Or is it just anxiety?
Contemplating what others think of me

Constantly comparing
Me to everyone else around
Around me

Lying down, what a joke
First thing I do is get up and smoke
Wondering where did my pride go?
Oh yeah, I lost that long ago.

Because I'm tired of forever feeling
Consumed by apathy
About almost everything
Except that which concerns me

Constantly comparing
Me to everyone else around
Around me

I never said I want to die
I just said I hate that I'm
Anxious about going to sleep
Waking up to more anxiety
I never said I want to die
I just said I hate that I
Feel like there's no place left to run
So I'll go dread sleep and waking up
Track Name: Rue
Sit and obsess over past events
Nothing I can do but rue
A life of regret
I'll be sorry until I'm dead

Forever haunted by
Thoughts that dwell inside
A loathsome, fucked up mind
Only worsening with time
Forever haunted by
Thoughts that dwell inside
A selfish, fucked up mind

A life of regret
I'll be sorry 'til I'm dead
A heart heavy as lead
Oh, I'll be sorry
I'll be sorry 'til I'm dead
A life of regret
I'll be sorry 'til I'm dead
A heart heavy as lead
Oh, I'll be sorry
I'll be sorry 'til I'm dead
Track Name: Petulant
Discontentment and resentment
Have taken permanent residence
In my psyche
While I've been trying
To rid myself of them
But somehow they always win, yeah

All my angst preceded my
Teenage years and chose to stay here
Outlasting my adolescence
Breeding cynical disappointment, yeah


All my angst preceded my
Teenage years and chose to stay here
Outlasting my adolescence
Breeding cynical disappointment, yeah
Everlasting, never abating
Track Name: Nostalgia Eternal
I fucking hate that I get older
And I fucking hate that I get older

Where did the time go
From being a kid
Oh, to 22?
All of this remembering
It's keeping me up
Longing for youth

Forever gripped with nostalgia
I am looking back
And I'm stuck dwelling
On memories of my past
Eternally plagued
By a somber, wistful pang

I fucking hate that I get older
And I fucking hate that I get older

Where did the time go
From being a kid
Oh, to 22?
All of this remembering
It's keeping me up
Longing for youth


Where did the time go
From being a kid
Oh, to 22?
All of this remembering
It's keeping me up
Longing for youth
For youth, oh
Track Name: Heretical Son
And I'll preface this by saying
That I miss feeling like
I was stitched from the same cloth
But I'm afraid I'm not

A filial pariah
I've convinced myself that I am

If you really were to know
Dad, I'm scared you'd hate me
And if I weren't your son
I don't think you'd want to know me
I'm the epitome of heresy
I think you'd hate me

Your flesh and blood
Heretical son
Your flesh and blood
Heretical son

A filial pariah
I've convinced myself that I am

If you really were to know
Dad, I'm scared you'd hate me
And if I weren't your son
I don't think you'd want to know me
I'm the epitome of heresy
I think you'd hate me
Track Name: Habitual
Pretend to quit
Can't give up this shit
The fire's been lit
And I'm just fueling it

Plug yourself in
Neuro-transmit
Serotonin
Ingrain a habit
Yeah, plug yourself in
And neuro-transmit
Serotonin
Feel guilty about it

My habits are learned
Permanence they've earned
Stubborn I'll remain 'til I'm under the earth
Stubborn I'll remain 'til I'm under the earth
Track Name: On Existence Pt. I: There?
And I've always had my doubts
But never until now
Have those thoughts pervaded
Leading me to say

Is this apostasy?
I guess it is
If you were looking
You would have found me

Believing is not something
This machine is doing
It's only questioning
Skeptical of everything
Praying and searching
Never receiving
An answer when I ask
If you're really there

Is this apostasy?
I guess it is
If you were looking
You would have found me

Oh, how absurd to think
That there are any strings
Being pulled for me
Just because I asked “God, please...”
Track Name: On Existence Pt. II: Low
Look at me crying
As if this strife is unique to me
But I guess I asked for this
By demanding some evidence

Oh, yeah I'm feeling low
Because all my doubt is here to stay
Questions answered? Not today
Oh, yeah years ago
I was forced down the road to loss of faith
And grew real bitter on the way
Oh, yeah I'm feeling low
Could all my sins be washed away?
Forgiven? Not today
Oh yeah, years ago
I watched my belief fly out the window

Low
Lachrymose but trying to turn this shit around
Low
Mop up all the tears that have fallen to the ground
Low
Track Name: When Trying to Swallow Guilt
My lyrics are too personal
My melodies, predictable
I'm not good enough at this
To justify doing it forever
Because I still live at home
While all my peers are on their own
Making names for themselves
Growing up, getting it together

I'm sorry, Mom and Dad
I know you had hopes and plans for me
I know I threw them all away
I know I brought you so much shame

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